Sunday, March 7, 2010

Obsticles by Nate M.


Many people face obstacles. A lot of people cant handle the problems that come in front of them. There are different types of issues one can face. There are internal obstacles and external obstacles. An internal obstacle is a problem a person faces within themselves. An external obstacle is a problem that is caused from an external source, for example the sea in "The old man and the sea".

One of the first problems you encounter is Santiago’s age. He is 85 years old but his determination says otherwise. He was extremely devoted to catching this marlin because he hadn’t caught a fish in so long: “He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.” (9). At this point his age didn’t affect him. He was too devoted to his cause.

Another obstacle is that he was completely alone out in the ocean. He didn’t have Manolin with him. This made the situation more threatening and tense. Because of this Santiago had to be extremely cautious because it was just him, an 85 year old man, against all the surprises the ocean has to offer. Even though he had to be cautious he was intent on catching something so he could get some money. So one major internal obstacle was that he had to do two things that contradicted each other, adding to the fact that being alone was an obstacle. Santiago admitted it: “‘I wish I had [Manolin]. To help me and to see this’” (48)

A third obstacle was that Santiago, reminding you again that he is 85, had to fight for three days with limited rations against a marlin. Also he had to fight vicious attacks from sharks in the dark. The marlin Santiago faced was mighty: “Never have I seen a greater, or more beautiful, or calmer, or more noble thing than you…” (92) He respected the majesty of this fish. Also wanted to take it as a prize because it was clearly worthy: “‘What a fish it was,’” (123) for a fish that causes awe to many people and an old man to catch it is a magnificent feat.

Second of all he had to fight off vicious attacks from aggressive sharks. These sharks actually tore off all the meat so when Santiago landed in port he old had bones attached to his boat.

Another huge obstacle was that he clearly didn’t have advanced technology. All he had was a sloppy skiff. If he had something like a battleship then he most likely would’ve come home with a fish.

He didn’t even need a battleship. All he needed was a boat that could hold a fish in it so it doesn’t get eaten by sharks. Also what did he have to fight the sharks with, a club? Clearly if he had more sophisticated technology he would’ve had the upper hand.

Even after fighting these obstacles Santiago was proud. Even in his old age he had the determination to catch the fish. He clearly had odds against him. He was old, he was alone, he wasn’t strong, and he wasn’t prepared or equipped for this expedition.

39 comments:

  1. 1. The thesis is that the old man faced a lot of external obstacles in the story, such as the sea. It's a good introduction and thesis but there should be more examples in the thesis.
    2. The quote about the old man being alone at sea was very strong. It shows the main idea of the paragraph and i like how it was incorporated by saying that he admitted it.
    3. I like the word choice in this essay, it does a good job at getting the point across. "Also what did he have to fight the sharks with, a club? Clearly if he had more sophisticated technology he would’ve had the upper hand." I really like this part because it makes a good point.
    4. For the first body paragraph the author should add more about how old age was an obstacle. He has very clear about how the old man overcame age but not how the old age gave him a disadvantage.

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  2. 1. The thesis is the obstacles in life that we all have to overcome. Was well written, but I think that it needs more examples, as Kaitlin said. The essay is very focused and does not go off on any tangents.
    2. “‘I wish I had [Manolin]. To help me and to see this’” (48) I think that this was the best quote because it directly supports the point the writer was trying to make. It is also an interesting example that even people who didn't read the book would be able to understand.
    3. I think that this essay does a number of things well including word choice and organization. The choice of quotations was also very well thought through.
    4. One of the only things i really noticed was in the first paragraph the writer used the word obstacles at least once every sentence. I know that is what the essay is about, but maybe try It or They instead of obstacles once in a while. other than that, very well written!

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  3. 1. The thesis of this essay is that the old man came to and overcame many obstacles. It was OK but could be more interesting.
    2. The strongest argument has to have been the one that Santiago did not have enough weapons. His quote backs it up and it is the most logical.
    3. The essay has four strong arguments. Evan came up with some convincing arguments that were well written.
    4.The intro needs to start of more general. Start off with some obstacles you have faced or something."In The Old Man and The Sea, Santiago encounters many powerful forces and obstacles throughout the book."

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  4. 1. The thesis is that all of us have obstacles we have to overcome. It mentions examples of the old man's obstacles, such as the sea. The essay was well-focused.
    2. “‘I wish I had [Manolin]. To help me and to see this’” (48) was my favorite quote. It helps show how alone the old man was out on the open sea.
    3. Your word choice in the essay was very well done. I liked how you described some of the things in the story and the words you chose were interesting.
    4. I agree with Nate. Try to come up with a synonym for obstacles. Also adding a little more detail here and there could help. nice job on the essay!

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  5. The thesis of Nate’s essay is that even people past there prime can do extreme, as long as they don’t give up hope or determination. The thesis was throughout the essay, so it was clear. It did engage me because it made me think about all of the other old people, how many are still working hard at what they do? I don’t think the quotes to well in the essay. They might have been needed in a different place. The strong point of the essay is organization. I think organization is the strong point because if he had put the paragraphs in a different order, I think it would confused the reader. The weak point, I think, is the use of quotes. The quotes just seem to just be there not particularly use for the text

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  6. I. You do say that Santiago face many obastacles, but you only say one example. The way you put it is a little unclear.

    II. I like your last two quotes. They work very well with your point and what you are saying.

    III. You do a good job of providing insights into the thoughs of Santiago, and some of his thought proceses.

    IV. You should make it a little clearer what you are talking about. At one poiint you are talking about the decisions he has to make, then at another point your talking about a battleship leaveing me to believe that it has to do with the friendship prompt.

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  7. The thesis is that all of us have obstacles we have to overcome. It mentions examples of the old man's obstacles, such as the sea. The essay was focused. “‘I wish I had [Manolin]. To help me and to see this’”(48) was my favorite quote. It helps show how alone the old man was. Your word choice in the essay was very good. I liked how you described some of the things in the story and the words you chose were interesting. Don't use the word obstacles so much. Also add a little more detail.

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  8. 與朋友在一起,分擔的痛苦是減半的痛苦,分享的快樂是加倍的快樂。 ............................................................

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  9. 在你一無所有的時候 是誰在陪伴你 他便是你最重要的人 ............................................................

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  10. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。......................................................................

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  11. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。....................................................................

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  12. 一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼............................................................

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